An Alternative to Accountability Partners
Job 13:5 (CSB)
"If only you would shut up and let that be your wisdom!"
Before this verse above, Job conversed with his friends, who came from a long distance away, to be by his side after hearing that he was sick. However, their prayers and supplications went unanswered. So the only answer to the delay they could give was that Job had sinned and thus brought his troubles upon himself. And yet, after tirelessly trying to show Job all the wrong that was going on and how there was no actual solution, he had no choice but to tell them to "shut up."
I remember some years ago, I was in a board meeting. We went around the table talking about accomplishments, goals, and the various challenges the organization was facing. As everyone brought concern after concern, I finally had to ask, "Anyone got a solution?" Two seconds later, someone else came with an issue or complaint, and I had to boldly say, "Stop bringing problems to this table; bring solutions!"
Before Job told his friends to shut up, he said, "My eyes have seen all this; my ears have heard and understood it." And, "Everything you know, I also know." In other words, tell me something I don't know! Or, if you reiterate the issues, at least find a solution.
Look, you know the issues you're facing; you see them, hear them, and understand them. What you need is a solution.
For the many goals you have in your life, you know what mountain is standing in your way. But my friend, those mountains won't move themselves. In Mark 11:23, Jesus says: "If anyone says to this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him." Therefore, often, we don't see the results we want or get the answers we desperately desire because we keep our mouths closed; we need community and communication.
The word community is a nine-letter word. In Biblical numerology, the number 9 symbolizes divine completeness. You'll feel complete in a community that empowers and encourages, regardless of what may happen around you. In that community, communication is not only between one another; how we speak to ourselves, about ourselves, and the mountains that stand in our way will change.
Do you know what else Job told his friends before telling them to "shut up"?
Job 13:3 (CSB)
"Yet I prefer to speak to the Almighty and argue my case before God."
Let's review. Job's friends came from afar to pray, and when that didn't result in what they expected, they blamed and shamed him. Then, they pointed out all the many issues he was facing. Only issue after issue after issue was all they could talk about. No support, no words of affirmation, no "I'll sit here with you silently while God answers," just continual negativity amid adversity.
And yet, Job said to his friends, "I prefer to speak to the Almighty."
The scripture tells us in Proverbs 27:17, "Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another." And yet, in his moment of difficulty, Job finds no comfort in speaking with his friends, to the point where he has to tell them to shut up.
“Dysfunctional friends make difficult moments seem even more dreadful.”
~ Miguel Lebron
I have often said - to surround yourself with people who nourish your vision. Job's friends needed help understanding the mission.
If you can relate to Job and feel like those who said they were there to help are only speaking hopelessly, then now is the time to tell them to "shut up." In moments of difficulty, you need an accountability partner, not an accountability accuser or blame broker.
An accountability accuser only seeks to accuse you in the face of adversity. They are good at telling you what you could improve at. They won't leave your side but only be the voice that reminds you of your shortcomings. Another term for this is blame broker: instead of issuing grace, they lend more grief, blame, shame, and heartache.
But let's be honest, you don't need another accountability partner.
What we need, what you need, is a redemption relationship.
Redemption relationships are focused on listening, supporting, empowering, and uplifting. To redeem is to buy back; often, we forget our worth, especially in the face of difficulties and adversity. Wouldn't having someone or a community built around redemption relationships be nice?
In a redemption relationship, there's a mutual commitment to listening, supporting, and uplifting each other, recognizing the inherent worth and potential for growth in every individual. Building a community centered around redemption relationships could create a space where people feel safe, understood, and encouraged to embrace their journey of self-discovery and transformation.
In James 5, we are told: "Let us confess our sins to each other," yet we hear Job say to his friends, "Shut up." Why? Because they weren't looking to redeem, restore, nourish, or empower; instead, they were only looking to see who deserves blame. Some setbacks are because of our own doing; some are a byproduct of our free will clashing with someone else's. As a friend would say, "Sometimes on the highway of life, there's an oil spill of free will that takes place."
Do you currently find yourself in a moment of adversity? It's okay to cry, but don't allow those tears to create a flood, making you feel like all is lost. It's time to ensure you have community and redemption relationships that lead to your breakthrough.
I want to partner with you. As a Personal Growth Strategist, I help those who feel stuck accomplish their goals. It's time to get unstuck, to redeem what seems lost, and for your breakthrough!
If you're uncertain about committing to an extended coaching program, consider beginning with the 90-Minute Breakthrough Accelerator.
We'll address your immediate concerns during this session and focus on resolving pressing issues.
Aditionally, we can use the Wheel-of-Life satisfaction assessment, during which we'll thoroughly examine your present status across the ten life domains with my guidance. (click here to view my calander)
If you're reading this and say to yourself, " This is nice but not for me," please share it with a friend you believe needs this tool. Make sure you model what a proper redemption relationship looks like.